The strongest teams in sports have chemistry beyond the field of play and locker-room. They ’re a blend of experience, communication and unity; and they learn to overcome adversity through agreements and disagreements as well as mutual respect.

Being publicly put down by a person that supposedly loves and should be protecting you is demoraliszing in marriage.

Movies try to convince us we’ll feel this way forever. “And they lived happily ever after”, the story usually ends. But have you noticed that we’re never shown how “happily ever after” looks like?

It would be hard to lead a normal life if we constantly felt overwhelmed with those magical, “falling-in-love” feelings! As such, you can’t marry someone just because you’re in love with them, in as much as you can’t divorce someone just because you’re no longer in love with them.

Psychological maturity, which comprises both emotional and mental development, is one of the foundational elements of a healthy marriage. A successful marriage requires the maturity of both partners at relatively similar levels, otherwise it’s an “unequal yoke”.

Boundaries enable a person to embody their self-worth and know what is necessary to respect and protect their own desires, needs and beliefs.

Closure is overrated, and when it’s not forthcoming, it is frankly just a speed bump in your healing process. It’s a lot better if you get it, but you don’t actually need it.

How you act in the aftermath of a conflict is as important to your marriage as your behaviour during the conflict. There are common mistakes we have observed couples make after the conflict, which may well prolong the conflict.

All-or-nothing thinking usually comes with you convincing yourself that things should be different (read perfect) and if they’re not, your spouse has something to do with it.

The danger of a marriage that is centred on compromise is the inevitable weaving of selfishness into the paradigm.