TV personality, actor, singer and businesswoman Relebogile Mabotja, who is expecting her first child in two months, has not had an easy journey to motherhood as she had been struggling with fibroids and pregnancy complications.
Mabotja has been apprehensive since the early stages of her pregnancy that she could not stand the sight of baby clothes.
Fibroids are tumors made of smooth muscle cells and fibrous connective tissue that develop in the uterus. As much as hers were removed they have grown back, posing some complications to her pregnancy. Apart from that, she has put all her trust in her team of medical experts and is looking forward to be a mother for the first time.
Speaking to Sowetan, the 35-year-old says she's full of hope and looking forward to days of under-sleeping and bonding with the little one once it is born.
She takes us to her new journey and she counts down the weeks to the day of delivery.
“I’m looking forward to the sleepless nights and getting to know my little person. I am definitely excited to hold my lockdown baby. We might plan as human beings when to have kids but God’s timing is always perfect. If I am called to take on this role [of being a mother] now it is a right time,” Mabotja said.
The Soshanguve-born, north of Pretoria, multi-talented Mabotja who grew up in a big and loving family of uncles, aunts, brothers, and cousins says having her first born means that miracles are possible and God is real. She says the arrival of her baby that we don’t know the gender yet means that there's a Higher Power beyond doctors.
“I have achieved quite a lot at a young age but being a mother is a complete different role that will change me. There are many women who want the opportunity to be mothers unfortunately they can't for some different reasons. It feels like I am chosen," Mabotja says.
"I grew up taking care of my cousins at my grandmother’s house but expecting my own is a total different feeling. The whole family is looking forward to me having a child. This child will have the support and love of many gogos, grandpas and uncles.”
Mabotja, who insists she's a private person, says she was compelled to open up about her painful journey to motherhood because she realised that women do not talk about such issues. She says some of the productive issues like fibroids were more prevalent in women.
“I had to talk about this publicly because I did not find a woman that I can relate to or who has travelled this journey. I wanted to share my journey and bring to light some of the difficult experiences women and mothers-to-be face in their lives. I hope my story can resonate and bring strength to others,” she adds.
Speaking about reproduction challenges for woman in general, Mabotja feels that it is unfair for women to be judged in the society for not able to bear children. A self-confessed feminist, Mabotja believes that religion and culture has put a lot of pressure on women to bear kids and not the men.
“It is really heart-breaking for us women. Society has this thing that if you are able to bear a child you are a real woman, but you can't for some reasons you are not a real woman. Since men can have kids at any age they measure our womanhood with our fertility. We know in African culture, once you get pregnant the next question is about the gender. A lot needs to change,” Mabotja says.
With the baby on the way, Mabotja is mum about wedding bells and also reluctant to reveal the father of her baby. She says she is not crazy about getting married because she personally does not believe in the concept of marriage.
“People treat marriage as some sort of achievement in their lives. If I reach a point where I feel like I want to have another child or get married, it had to happen on my own reason. My parents often joke about my feminism, saying ‘this one is not going to get married she is too much of a feminist. If she does, she is going to force her husband to change his surname to hers’.”
Mabotja says she knew from a young age that she belongs to the performing arts despite not having idols, who made a good leaving out of it. She was a bright child who excelled academically from primary school at St Mary's Diocesan School for Girls in Pretoria to senior level at Pretoria High School for Girls.
I hope my story can resonate and bring strength to others
She was so bright that her parents, neighbours and family friends thought she would become a doctor or a lawyer. When she completed her matric she shocked everyone when she joined the arts industry, landing a role in the musical called Fame-The Musical. The production was staged at the South African State Theatre in Pretoria and featured, among others, Marah Louw and Carlo McFarlane.
The outspoken Mabotja took on the role after turning down a bursary to study engineering and actuarial science, the decision that left her parents disappointed . Her parents wanted her to get a university degree and pursue performing arts on the side because it was an unstable industry. After a year, she joined a production company at the age of 18 where she learned a lot of skills.
“I thought I would be a lawyer because I enjoyed arguing with my parents when they refused me to go to a party. I guess God had other plans for me because I have never thought I will be a music director, composer and owned a production company.”
She has since appeared in shows such as Zone 14, Rhythm City, Skeem Saam, Generations and Home Affairs. Her radio career includes hosting a morning news show on Talk Radio 702 and was a newsreader at Metro FM.
She is the founder and managing director of Lebotja Media, a music production house, record label and publishing company which has produced promo on-air for SABC and Africa Magic, music for SABC 2, television shows Mzansi Insider (SABC 1), Sunday Chillas (SABC 1), Afro Café (SABC 2) and I Love South Africa (e.tv).
She is also a director and shareholder of Black Swan Media, producers of The Voice South Africa and The Single Wives SA on M-Net.
Fact File
Favourite music: Music that speaks to my soul and tickles my nostalgia
Favourite holiday destination: Locally KZN & Miami
Favourite movie: Love Actually
Favourite quote: This Too Shall Pass
Favourite TV show: Working Moms
Favourite artist: Definitely Me
emoji: pregnant emoji
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