During these 16 Days of Activism for No Violence Against Women and Children, we are once again reminded of how some of society’s most vulnerable continue to experience abuse, often at the hands of those they trust. It is estimated that over 40% of women in South Africa will be victims of rape in their lifetime. Unfortunately, places of worship contribute to this statistic.
Instead of finding healing, comfort and refuge in worship environments, some women and children are left sexually abused and broken. Trusted spiritual leaders who are meant to help congregants grow spiritually sometimes leave them feeling traumatised. These acts, which are perpetrated by individuals, have sadly ensued a growing distrust and betrayal in society. Like many victims, those who are abused within worship spaces often face detrimental psychological effects.
According to counseling psychologist Kgomotso Masokoane, the effects (which may differ from victim to victim) often fall along one of two extremes.
“Some become hypervigilant and they can no longer trust others. They change their habits in order to avoid being in situations that open them up to abuse again. They may also shy away from having close intimate relationships with others,” says Masokoane.
“Unfortunately, some go the opposite way and might become hypersexual in an effort to regain their power. They may even become promiscuous as they no longer value themselves but rather see themselves as an object (in the manner that the abuser saw them).”
Daniela Gennrich, co-ordinator of the We Will Speak Out South Africa coalition based in KwaZulu-Natal believes that society’s outrage regarding acts of violence in places of worship is highly justified. This is mostly because worship spaces are meant to provide refuge for those who sadly end up becoming victims.
“The first places many survivors of trauma and violence seek help from are places of worship. Unfortunately, that is not necessarily always the place where they get that help. What develops is a very deep sense of betrayal because people go to their faith leaders for comfort and for safety”, says Gennrich.
According to Gennrich, the brokenness that exists in society coupled with an outdated hierarchical system in faith organisations remains greatly challenging and problematic. “The inequality of power that exists in our society is often exasperated in that environment and it becomes difficult for women to resist or contradict faith leaders,” she says.
Besides the devastating and often life-altering psychological effects, many survivors also undergo a spiritual crisis, losing all faith and spiritual purpose.
“Victims might lose their faith and actually end up not going to church anymore. Also, apart from not wanting to see their perpetrator they might avoid all other places of worship and decide that they no longer believe in God,” Masokoane says.
With abuse being a very challenging experience to deal with, continued support from the survivors’ friends and family is encouraged. “When someone is a victim of abuse, they lose their ability to trust others thus it will be hard to open up to those close to them. The important thing as a loved one is not to blame them for what happened. Rather reassure them that what happened was wrong and they did not in any way bring it onto themselves. Be the safe space that they need in which to open up about how they feel and how the abuse has affected them,” advises Masokoane.
For Gennrich, the responsibility is on communities of faith to give unconditional support and to regain the trust they had lost.
“Places of worship need to take the side of the survivor by taking responsibility of what had happened. Proactively, they need to be clear that all human beings have equal dignity,” she says.
“Faith leaders also need to be trained by specialised people so they know how to respond and become safe spaces for survivors. They do not need to do everything but should know where to refer a person and take them to a safe place”.
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