One of the lasting impacts children carry after witnessing gender-based violence (GBV) is what psychologists often refer to as a “survival brain” response.
As clinical psychologist Marita Rademeyer explains, once a child has been exposed to trauma, even as a bystander, the brain can remain on permanent alert, constantly preparing for danger that may no longer be present.
Rademeyer tackled the impact of GBV on women and children during a Facebook event hosted by the South African Depression and Anxiety Group recently.
“A child’s survival brain stays switched on when they are exposed to trauma. Their nervous system learns to anticipate danger and it becomes difficult for them to return to a calm, regulated state,” she said.
A child’s survival brain stays switched on when they are exposed to trauma
— Marita Rademeyer, clinical psychologist
Today marks the beginning of 16 Days of Activism for No Violence Against Women and Children.
Rademeyer, who has more than 30 years of experience working with children and families affected by trauma and abuse, emphasises that even the youngest children can be harmed by violence in the home.
Babies and toddlers may not remember the events or have the words to describe what happened, yet their bodies still absorb the fear surrounding them.
“It’s important for people to know that even very young children, even babies, can be traumatised by gender-based violence. The sounds, the sensory input, the screaming or being held in a mother’s arms while something frightening is happening can imprint trauma on a child’s nervous system,” she said.
Rademeyer said early trauma often shows up in ways that adults may overlook or misunderstand. Children experiencing flashbacks may suddenly shut down or become overwhelmed by fear.
Nightmares and difficulty sleeping are common. Some children appear unable to focus in school, but Rademeyer notes that this is frequently a sign of hypervigilance rather than poor concentration.
“What looks like concentration difficulties is often hypervigilance,” she said.
“These children are constantly scanning their environment for possible threats. Their brains are doing exactly what they’ve learned to do stay on guard.”
The behavioural effects can vary widely. Some children turn inward, becoming withdrawn, anxious or depressed. Others externalise their trauma, acting out aggressively, getting into fights or displaying disruptive behaviour that is often misinterpreted as simple misconduct.
Beyond the immediate symptoms, witnessing GBV can shape a child’s understanding of relationships and power dynamics well into adulthood. Rademeyer warns that children often model what they see at home.
She said boys may grow up identifying with the aggressor, believing masculinity equals dominance. Girls, meanwhile, may identify with the victim, learning to tolerate mistreatment as part of love.
“Beyond psychological harm, long-term effects can include depression, anxiety, substance abuse, reproductive health problems and even chronic physical illness later in life,” she said.
Rademeyer said caregivers play a crucial role in helping a traumatised child heal.
“There is no way to make a child feel safe unless the environment at home is safe. Caregivers must regulate themselves first. A child can’t calm down if the adults around them are in distress.”
Support services remain uneven across the country, with many families relying on overwhelmed NGOs or community networks for help. Rademeyer encourages families to reach out early and persistently.
“There is always hope,” she said.
“There are ways out of situations that feel dark and desperate. People should try to be the captain of their ship, even if the first step is just asking for help.
Moving forward, Rademeyer says there is hope. With the right support, safe environments, therapeutic intervention and community involvement, children can heal and break free from the patterns created by violence.
“There are always ways out of dark and desperate times,” she says.
“With the right help, healing is possible.”
Sowetan
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