Yolanda* was only 14 years old when her curiosity about sex was ignited. At 15 she was engaging in unprotected sex purely to impress her teenage boyfriend.
Now the 17-year-old mother is juggling school and motherhood while the father of her child has moved on to other relationships with other girls at university.
“I regret most of the things I did last year and should have held onto my virginity a lot longer. Being a teenage mother has robbed me of so many things that my peers enjoy. I don’t feel the love that I used to get from my parents anymore because my child has become their priority,” said the grade 11 pupil.
Her older sisters are supporting her financially.
Yolanda told Sowetan that her older friends started experimenting with sex from around the age of 12.
“They’d tell me about how cool sex was and how nice it made them feel. They’d say boys fancied girls who were sexually active. I didn’t want to be left out. I wanted to be part of the cool girls,” said Yolanda.
At 15 she had already started messing with boys and she also started using contraceptive injection which she would get from her local clinic. She had been taught sex education from school.
“Last year I went to the clinic and I was told that they had run out of contraceptives. I carried on having sex with him without a condom. He didn’t know I have not had my injection. I didn’t tell him because I was still enjoying our new relationship and I did not want to disappoint him,” she said.
She found out she was pregnant weeks later when she went to the clinic to get the injection. It took her some time to tell her parents why her tummy was bulging.
“I was scared. I didn’t know how to tell them but I knew I wouldn’t be able to hide my protruding stomach forever. They were disappointed. I could feel them turning their backs on me,” said Yolanda.
Other pupils at school also started taunting her while others shunned her as they wouldn’t want to be seen walking with her.
The bullying at school and lack of compassion at home drove her to an organisation that helps young mothers.
“The bullying was getting too much and I also needed basic things to help me cope as an expectant mother. I did not stop attending school throughout my pregnancy and even after I gave birth. My sisters assist me to raise my child and the situation is better now.
“Even though my parents have accepted the situation and my child, I still feel that somehow I have lost their love,” said Yolanda.
*Not her real name
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