In a country like SA, where violence against children has proven to be a crisis, family members and communities might also find themselves overwhelmed and lacking knowledge on how to support child victims.
Children experience all sorts of violence, from being bullied at school, sexually abused or neglected by people who are supposed to look after them, which can have devastating consequences on their ability to function.
Patience Napo, a social worker and programme coordinator for the Limpopo Victim Empowerment Programme and GBVF says the first step is to make sure the child feels safe. This can be done through practical things such as giving them a glass of water, a blanket and letting them know that they will be protected.
“Let them know that they are safe in your presence and that you are there to help them,” Napo said. You must also ask them what immediate intervention they need such as notifying the police or a person they trust like a parent, relative or involving social workers.
Approaching the magistrates court for a protection order against the perpetrator on behalf of a minor is also another way in which we can help.
“If the complainant is a child she/he can apply for the protection order and does not have to be assisted by a parent or a guardian. It is also possible for a person to make application on behalf of the complainant,” she explained.
Napo said calling the social development central command centre for advice could also also assist. The centre would listen to the details of the case and then refer you to the nearest point of assistance.
She said parents or relatives could also request to get training from social workers on how to communicate with children and help them along their healing journey.
“Talk to them about healthy relationships. Help them learn from the abusive experience by talking about what healthy relationships are and are not. This will help them know and identify danger," she said.
Napo emphasises that making sure children get counselling after a violent or abusive incident is important as most survivors are at risk of mental illnesses.
“Children who witness or are victims of emotional, physical, or sexual abuse are at higher risk of experiencing health problems as adults. These can include mental health conditions, such as depression and anxiety. They may also include diabetes, obesity, heart disease, poor self-esteem, and other problems,” she said.
Victim empowerment practitioner Dorcas Pitjeng explained that children who had been abused often struggled with going to public spaces, including malls and church. Pitjeng said the trick was not to force them to go anywhere unless they felt comfortable.
“One of the first things we see is that their grades at school begin to drop. But once they get counselling and deal with the root cause they quickly pick up,” she said.
Pitjeng said accompanying the child to court and making sure that they are well prepared for the process through the help of professionals is also crucial. “When they take the stand, that is when they are most vulnerable because they begin to relive the trauma. This is when they need the most support,” she explained.
Caroline Thema, from the Caroline Thema Foundation, which provides support to survivors, believes normalising violence within families and communities makes it difficult for children to even realise when they are being mistreated.
Thema said adults should start making children aware of what amounts to acceptable behaviours, so that they can have the confidence to speak out if they are violated. She said it was normal for children to withdraw or avoid communicating after experiencing abuse, but people had to try as much as possible not to isolate them.
“We should not isolate them or treat them differently. You do not want them to grow up thinking that they don’t belong,” Thema said.
mahopoz@sowetan.co.za
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