OPINION | Redefining gender relations not a threat to masculinity

The recent G20 Empowerment of Women Working Group ministerial dialogue on Positive Masculinity held in Johannesburg was more than a gathering of policymakers — it was a moment of reckoning.

The conversations that unfolded were rich, challenging, and necessary.

They reminded us that transforming gender relations is not simply a women’s issue; it is a collective human project requiring also men to be full and active participants in building a fairer, more compassionate world.

Positive masculinity is not a slogan; it is a social and psychological imperative. It calls for a collective reimagining of manhood — one grounded in tenderness without shame, strength without harm, and leadership that listens.

The challenge before us is not to erase masculinity but to evolve it: to move from power to partnership, from dominance to dignity, and from silence to shared responsibility.

SA knows too well both the wound of gender-based violence (GBV).

Yet, our response cannot remain confined to policy statements and commemorations. Justice begins at home — in how we teach respect, model empathy, and insist on accountability. What a boy witnesses in his home or on the streets where he plays shapes the man he will become.

If we are to build a safer, fairer nation, then positive masculinity must move from conference halls to classrooms, workplaces, and communities.

In psychology, scholars such as Mark Kiselica and Matt Englar-Carlson (2010) have long pointed to what is known as the deficit model — an approach focused on what is wrong with people rather than what is strong within them. For decades, this view has dominated how we speak about men and boys.

However, the emerging field of positive psychology and positive masculinity offers a crucial shift, for it asks not only how to prevent harm but also how to cultivate empathy, courage, connection, and authenticity in men and boys.

This framework reminds us that true strength lies not in control, but in contribution; not in suppression, but in emotional honesty.

Research shows that boys and young men today often fare poorly across multiple indicators of well-being. They are more likely to drop out of school, experience mental distress, and die by suicide at three to four times the rate of young women.

These outcomes are tied to rigid masculine norms that discourage vulnerability and discourage help-seeking.

Yet, as the G20 gathering made it clear, masculinity itself is not the enemy. Rather, the goal is to harness its traditional strengths — resilience, leadership, and protection — and channel them into empathy, partnership, and social responsibility.

Studies further highlight that masculine identity is shaped not in isolation but through families, peers, schools, and, perhaps more crucially, the media. When boys grow up hearing that care makes them weak or that asking for help is “unmanly”, we create conditions that harm everyone.

But when they see positive masculinity modelled by fathers, teachers, coaches, and community leaders, they learn that strength can coexist with kindness.

Teachers and parents emphasise that masculinity education works best when reinforced at home. Peer influence also matters: adolescents mirror the values of high-status peers, seeking affirmation through conformity.

This is why peer-mentorship programmes are powerful tools for change, providing alternative role models and promoting empathy, accountability as well as leadership among young men.

This underscores the need for a whole-of-society approach — one that unites families, schools, faith institutions, and community leaders in redefining what it means to be a man in SA today.

As leaders, we must ensure that institutions — workplaces, universities, and public offices — become safe spaces where dignity is protected and where respect is the norm, not the exception.

Positive masculinity can therefore bridge gender gaps and improve the lives of both men and women. In the workplace, it means moving from competition to collaboration; in homes, it means being present and nurturing fathers and partners; and in leadership, it means using power to uplift, not to dominate.

To men and boys: you are not problems to be managed; you are partners in building the future. To women and survivors: your truth lights the path forward, and our shared progress must follow your lived reality.

If we live these commitments, positive masculinity will cease to be an aspiration and become a way of life — taught in classrooms, modelled in institutions, and practiced in our homes.

Transformation begins not with legislation alone, but in the respect we teach and the courage we nurture in our sons and daughters.

SA and the world stand at a moment of profound possibility. We can raise a generation of men who lead with empathy, act with accountability, and define strength through care. This is the work of our time — and the promise of a truly equal future.

• Mashatile is the national patron of the Global Alliance to End Aids in Children by 2030, and the spouse to deputy president Paul Mashatile