Lugalo's murder shows how brutal life is for SA women

Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. The brutal killing of Kwasa Zozo Lugalo is a reminder that there is absolutely nothing women can do to safeguard themselves against gender-based violence. The work that needs to happen shouldn’t have a lot to do with women.

In fact, often when women do try to safeguard themselves by not walking late, by being aware of their surroundings, jogging on routes that are more populated and reporting their every move to their trusted contacts, many have still found themselves in violent situations or worse — they are found dead.

This is despite doing everything by the book when it comes to avoiding danger — danger that shouldn’t exist, by the way. Because of the violent nature of our society, we have almost been conditioned into thinking that crimes against women and children exist and all the vulnerable can do is implement mechanisms to avoid exposure to this existing danger.

We have normalised this constant threat of violence that follows women and children. So much so, we have placed the duty to protect, the duty of vigilance — on the vulnerable.

The very people who are in danger/vulnerable are expected to be in control of their safety. The truth is, without a perpetrator deciding to act, the threat of danger would not exist.

The danger exists because of the perpetrators — who are mostly men. That is where the bulk of efforts aimed at fighting gender-based violence should be focused. The problem is not with women or children; we are therefore fighting a losing battle if we focus our interventions on them.

I started this article off with the statement “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” because here is Lugalo who tried various avenues to get out of the abusive relationship she was in — but still ended up being killed.

The question that often arises in situations of gender-based violence is, “why didn’t she leave the abusive relationship? Why didn’t she speak out?” Well Lugalo did leave, Lugalo did ask for the perpetrator's family to intervene and her life was still violently taken away from her. She took all the necessary precautions, yet today we are speaking about her in the past tense.

This speaks to the earlier point I made. There is nothing women can do to deal with this scourge. Women have marched, women have screamed, women have petitioned, women have received protection orders, women have followed the law enforcement procedures, kept evidence, ran, moved homes and attended defence classes. Despite all of their actions, little change occurs, which speaks to the fact that it is not in the hands of women to fix this scourge.

The perpetrator is said to have previously threatened to kill Lugalo if she chose to leave the relationship. Out of fear, she remained in the relationship. She reached her breaking point and decided to leave.

The perpetrator's family is said to have encouraged her to stay with him and pretend — for her own safety. This is part of the problem in our society. Perpetrators are coddled and protected by their loved ones, instead of being brought to book.

There really is no respite or best solution for women against gender-based violence other than mechanisms that would have been implemented by law enforcement, well-resourced and backed up by the state. But more often than not, as you and I know and may have experienced, law enforcement and the state are found wanting in their various functions when having to deal with GBV.

It was just last year, during this very month, when women took to the streets in numbers after the killing of Uyinene Mrwetyana on August 24 2019. The same period in 2020, we are still mourning the unnatural, brutal deaths of women — mostly occurring at the hands of men.

It feels erroneous and deeply troubling on my side to wish a life taken so violently, so early, to rest in peace. We have lost a bright, hopeful young person yet again. My heart goes out to Lugalo's father Mzulungile and mother, Ntombekhaya.

I cannot imagine the constant fear and trauma of suffering such a loss while living with the reality that you have other daughters to take care of and continue to raise in a world that has vividly shown you just how brutal and violent it is to women — your child.  

LISTEN | Mam’ Angie: Growing up in a GBV environment allowed me to help others

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