You’re probably rolling your eyes at the very sight of this topic. But have you noticed how impatient we can be as couples towards one another? Because the truth is, if we're being completely honest, you aren't as patient as you would like to be, especially with your spouse. Very often, you get a little irritated, annoyed, frustrated and agitated with them from time to time. And for good reasons – at least, they seem like legit reasons to you.
You need truck-loads of patience within yourself when it comes to coping with your partner’s annoying habits such as always being late, or their constant frustration over petty things. Because you ought to spend an entire lifetime with your spouse, you have no other option but to put up with some of their most annoying habits.
Patience doesn’t just mean to put up with your spouse’s personality and some of their most annoying behaviour, but it is also the ability to restrain yourself from reacting in anger or frustration. Patience also means being able to bite your tongue from saying hurtful things to your spouse during a heated conversation.
Furthermore, it means walking along with your spouse when they hurt or being tolerant when they make you angry unintentionally. You have to be patient when your children push every single one of your buttons, and when your marriage is still not yet what you want it to be.
If you get annoyed easily or cannot handle situations with a calm and patient attitude, then it is necessary that you learn how to deal with it. Simply by identifying your triggers and managing your expectations, you would resolve many of your challenges associated with impatience.
Here are other few ways we can practice patience.
Acceptance
You’ll be amazed at the peace you’ll have when you just accept them the way they are – flaws and all. Before acting on what they are doing or aren't doing, you need to understand that a person cannot change his or her basic nature completely, and hence the only way to make peace with the situation is to accept them.
Dedicate some quiet time together
Patience is not only about giving and tolerance. It’s also about allotting time to be spent together as a couple, without necessarily talking. Take a walk together, and hold each other’s hands. The nonverbal communication in this exercise not only lengthens your patience for each other, but also develops more trust because even if you don’t speak, your partner hears you out, and so do you to them. Quiet time also could mean praying together. You’ll be amazed at the amount of intimacy that comes out of that.
Don’t join them in their tantrums
There really are instances when your partner gets mad or throws a fit over a particular issue. Sure, it can get on your nerves, but joining them in their tantrum will only make things worse. Rather, let them vent and breathe out everything they feel, and then talk to them calmly once they have cooled down. This would give them time to let go of unnecessary emotions and return to their rational selves before resolving this issue you two are facing.
Communicate, talk it out
Don’t keep it to yourself and then become a volcano ready to erupt anytime. You need to talk without lashing out at each other. Get to know, and understand one another. This way you'll be able to vent within time and wouldn't be frustrated by what your partner is doing. It’s essential that you lay the issues down and ask each other’s opinions about them. You may not always agree to one’s decision but by discussing and listening to each side, you develop more patience and tolerance for one another.
Listen
Always remember that you’re a team against the problem, and not you versus your spouse. This will help you in being empathetic towards your spouse and listening will bring you both towards a solution together rather than just focusing on the problem.
Allow your spouse to be themselves
Let them be, there are things that you'd want to do without anybody poking you or abstaining you from them. So, let them be! As long as they’re not engaging in destructive behaviour, just let them be.
Learn to adjust and compromise
Things don’t always have to go your way. It's not always rainbows and butterflies but a compromise that moves us along. Compromise doesn’t necessarily mean dropping your standards, but it far much more means having the maturity to align certain behaviours and expectations to grow your marriage towards happiness.
The lack of patience in a marriage can be very destructive and easily lead to saying or doing regrettable things. We highly recommend you do everything possible to have more patience for yourself, your spouse and marriage.
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