There is a man who has a complicated relationship with the people of SA. The man is well-known and unknown at the same time. He is well-known in that when his face appears on television, most South Africans recognise him. He is also well-known because he once led a beautiful province, which shares borders with Swaziland and Mozambique.
In his home province, his image has evolved through two phases. The first was when he, out of nowhere, became the leader of the province and quickly gained notoriety for controlling every government tender there.
The second was when he became feared in his province. The notoriety of the man became so well-known that even drunkards in shebeens were scared to mention his name.
At that stage most South Africans outside the man’s province paid scant attention to him, although a few stories about his notoriety did appear in national newspapers.
When the man’s political party began to prepare for an elective conference in 2017, he decided to climb the national stage.
On the road to that conference, he proved himself to be one of the best political dribblers of our time. People watched with disbelief when he was announced deputy president of his party.
Most South Africans became scared, remembering that since 1994 all deputy presidents of the party eventually became presidents of the country.
Even though it was clear that SA’s current president did not want the man to sit next to him in the Union Buildings, he was eventually sworn in.
One would have thought that given the elevated position the man now occupies, he would be well-known by now. No, that has not happened.
Since he relocated from his province to occupy a powerful position in Pretoria, the man has become less well-known.
How he is able to hide in such a powerful position nobody knows. From time to time he disappears from public view for months.
When the coronavirus hit us, every leader in government began to conduct public briefings about what they were doing to fight the pandemic. When all that was happening, the man was simply nowhere to be seen.
Suddenly we were told that, like African tyrants who die in hospitals outside their own countries, the man had left SA for medical treatment in an east European country led by a dangerous dictator.
The man probably does not know that South Africans fear him. Political analysts are always asked by fearful investors if there is any chance for the man to become SA’s president. Indeed, the man would ruin our country.
Thankfully, the man has lost all political influence in his party, including in his home province. No one in the party trusts him anymore. In the political circles of the medically paroled man of Nkandla, the man is referred to as inja (dog). Those are some of the people the man dribbled in 2017.
So, we can say without equivocation that the man will never be president of his party, and certainly not of SA. He will be the first deputy president of his party not to reach the highest office.
In fact, the man knows that he will never be president. That is why he prefers to hide himself. He knows he has reached the highest level of his political career.
The second reason he hides himself is that he knows his intellectual weaknesses. The national stage is a problem for him, since it exposes the entire country to his mental hollowness. The less he speaks, the better for the intellectual dwarf.
The man’s uselessness would not be a big deal for South Africans; the biggest problem for us is that we continue to pay the man for doing nothing.
In short, the man is a massive liability for taxpayers. Can anyone guess who the man is?
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