We’ll never forget it. We were about two years into our marriage, and we were having one of those lazy Saturday morning chats on the bed. We love having some of those chats, especially when we’re both totally relaxed and have no urgent chores or errands to run. It’s amazing what you can get out of your spouse in an unpressurised communication setting.
But this one Saturday morning went south on us very quickly. Phindi asked what Mo would do if he were to win a lottery in millions. We’ve never even bought lottery tickets in our lives. It was all hypothetical.
In his totally relaxed element, Mo said he’ll build his mother the house of her dreams, take his two sisters to university, buy himself a sports car and invest the rest if there was any left.
Phindi was livid. “What! You’ll actually do all of those things for yourself and your family? What about me? What about us? Is there even 'us' in your future?”
Things spiralled downwards from there.
Truth is, when you’re in a long-term relationship, there are bound to be arguments sometimes. There are the big ones, like about family, kids, or money, but there are also stupid fights. Our little disagreements can seem so trivial and ridiculous at face value. And they usually are. However, they can also tell a lot more about the other person.
The following are some of the stupid things we’ve witnessed couples fight over:
Why am I always the one who has to get up to turn off the lights?
It’s the quickest question to get you to fight, don’t answer it. Don’t be defensive with statistical retorts about how many times you also have to turn off the lights after having gone to bed. If you have to answer, be nice about it. Thank and appreciate the gesture, and sleep away. That also goes the same for locking the doors.
Lost keys
Imagine if you can, this gorgeous little block of polished wood mounted on the wall next to the front door, with several little hooks on it, engraved with the letters K-E-Y-S. Now close your eyes and imagine a world where all the happy little keys were returned there after use. Can you see it?
Changing the position of the driver’s seat and mirrors
Speaking of lost keys, do you ever find that every time you’ve used the car, you find the driver’s seat adjusted to your spouse’s size? Annoying isn’t it? What drives partners up the wall even more is when the car is left dirty or with an empty tank after the other has used it.
Squeezing the toothpaste from the middle upwards
This is one annoying behaviour many couples can’t seem to get over. One is accustomed to squeezing from the bottom, while the other throttles its neck. Worse still, is the partner that often leaves it wide open. Oh, it happens!
Leaving wet toilet seats
Apparently, the male species doesn’t know that a toilet actually has a seat. And this ignorance drives women crazy.
Who showers first?
Taking a shower for her means, to begin with brushing her teeth before actually showering. However, for him it means just that: walking into the shower and worry about brushing teeth afterwards. Cutting into her while she’s brushing her teeth means a declaration of war.
Wardrobe hangers
“Your closet keeps growing, and hangers on my side of the wardrobe keep getting fewer by the week.” He’s finally figured out the reason why she keeps neatly folding his jeans instead of hanging them in his wardrobe. And he hates thieving.
Posting less than perfect pictures
He looks awesome in the picture, but she looks like a wreck (in her eyes anyway). And he still has the audacity to post that particular picture on social media? The nerve! Like, where’s his humanity?
Television remote control
Most men believe this is their prized possession, and no-one dares to keep the remote in their hands literally for the duration of television viewing of however many hours. And everyone must watch whatever tickles his fancy with no arguments.
Viewing a favourite show alone
The betrayal of one partner sneakily watching the couple’s favourite TV show or series is simply a declaration of war. I mean what witchcraft is this?
When she just wants to vent
He wants to solve the problem, but she just wants him to l-i-s-t-e-n. She knows he has good intentions, but she just wants someone she can talk to. She knows how to solve the problem on her own, she just wanted him to understand how frustrating the whole thing has been for her. When she picks up that he’s busy trying to solve the issue, she gets even more frustrated.
Leftover food
One of the major crimes in many households is to finish someone else’s leftover food without asking for permission. It’s a criminal offence punishable by silent treatment. Think about the exciting walk to the refrigerator in the middle of the night, and… there’s nothing in there!
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