Fathers need to be involved in their kids' education

Nonchalant fathers who sleepwalk through parenting I hope used this year's Fathers' Day to reflect on the role they play in the education of their children.

In my work as the founder of WeSolve4X, a programme which assists parents to understand their children's school lessons, particularly maths, I have seen 90% of the parents involved to be mothers or aunts. Even though many of my students have fathers in their homes they seem to be uninterested in being involved in their children's school work. 

These children that I work with across 19 schools from various provinces actively speak about their mothers and not their fathers' involvement in their schooling.

I would not be where I am today without the support of both my parents, particularly my late father who took an active role in my education. Even though he sometimes did not understand my homework he still checked to see if I completed it and had a conversation with me about my education and any other problems I was facing academically or socially at school. He checked if I had polished my shoes and washed my school uniform, he taught me not only to be proud of my academics but my appearance as well. 

He helped me to deal with bullies who used to bully me for my stuttering or for having a darker complexion and the shape of my head. The involvement of fathers is pivotal to helping children build confidence in themselves and their future. Knowing both of their parents care about their education and future is key to helping children pull up their socks in the classroom. 

His extensive involvement made me want to make him proud until I eventually qualified to study to become an actuary. 

Moreover, father figures in the school community can help deal with social issues that sometimes need the involvement of men such as being good examples of positive masculinity. They can step up to be positive role models to children who do not have father figures in their own homes. 

In poorer schools fathers can team up together to fix broken infrastructure such as toilets and roofs and generally help make schools safer environments for their children.

But this is not only a SA or public school problem. In a famous video, American late night talk host Jimmy Kimmel ask fathers important questions. These included whether they know the school their children go to, their children's ages and the subjects they love or hate.

Most of the fathers were red faced as they realised they did not know any of the answers and their children also looked dumbfounded as they realised their fathers had no interest whatsoever in their lives.

Although these children technically come from a two-parent homes they may as well be from a single parent home. Fathers need to understand that they are not only responsible financially for their children but need to adopt a holistic attitude to parenting. 

We need to move away from believing that women are responsible for the wellbeing of children. It is also up to fathers and other men in the community and family structures to care for the needs of children. 

Fathers have the ability to understand crises that young boys are facing better and can create an environment that tackles those issues head on while mothers are able to help their daughters. 

It is my hope that in the next 10 to 20 years we do not have to continue discussions about fathers being absent in their children's school careers. 

• Ngobese is  an actuarial analyst and CEO of Wesolve4x.