What about the boys? This is not just a question, but the name of a movement that was launched on the 29 June 2022 at the JSE building in Sandton by Primestars, under the leadership of its managing director, Martin Sweet.
For over six years, my argument has always been that winning the battle against gender-based violence (GBV) and other related social ills is going to require us to deliberately empower boys while we empower girls. But most importantly, it is going to require us to be deliberate about redefining masculinity and raising great men in our society. Equally, we ought to understand that the urgency is required more on the sex that is most likely to be perpetrators and are perpetrators of GBV.
In his introductory speech at the launch, Sweet said, “No commensurate movement has emerged to help boys navigate toward a full expression of their gender. At first glance, statistics would suggest that boys are struggling and need more support and guidance than ever before.”
He further made a point about how these very boys are battling with their own demons that lead to undesirable after effects.
“They drop out of school; get lower grades; develop addictions to substance and pornography; drive recklessly; engage in unsafe sex; are diagnosed as emotionally disturbed; commit suicide more often than girls; get into fights more often and are more likely to be treated for Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). School shootings and stabbings, what do they have in common? Guns and knives – yes, but also boys. Girls aren’t pulling the triggers. It’s almost always boys. Boys are broken,” Sweet emphasised.”
My hope is that this national movement attracts the right people to ensure that the vision is made a reality. We have a responsibility towards the many innocent boys that are growing up in this messy world. There are people who have to immediately jump on the bandwagon and contribute to the success of this movement.
What many businesses and other institutions of interest don’t understand is this: if we do not intervene now, many boys and men will only get clothes in correctional service centres. They will be admitted into different rehab centres. Furthermore, they will be servants of all the illegal and destructive drugs.
The massive retail stores that are targeting boys and men will have no future customers.
I wish this is how businesses (listed on the JSE or not) would look at these global phenomena of GBV, substance abuse, femicide and suicide. These social ills are already robbing us of future male leaders, fathers, uncles, and more.
What I have also learned about the imbalances of our society is this: sometimes it is not that what you are doing to make a difference in society is wrong, it is also about ensuring that you reach the right people. It is also about your network. Moreover, it is about how resilient you are.
With the great experience behind his name and the success of the campaign that gave thousands of girls an opportunity over many years, Sweet is no stranger to pioneering change.
As a society, we have the responsibility to teach the boys about the beauty of their masculinity and how to nurture it positively. What has probably been miscommunicated in the past is the narrative that paints masculinity as problematic. I may be guilty of this too.
Nobody wants boys to be girls or for boys to start behaving like girls. Nature proves that we are not built the same. But we can all eliminate the toxicities we find in the make of our boys and subsequently men.
Sweet further made this point around masculinity. He stated, “To be clear, masculinity is not something we can or should eradicate, it exists in everyone. And while it can be toxic and dangerous, it can also be associated with resilience and success. Boys need to learn to distinguish between the positive and the negative traits of masculinity so that they can be empowered to become good men.”
That is the goal of this new movement. As someone who has been advocating for the reconstruction of the socialisation of the boys, and the deliberate move for us to nurture healthy or positive masculinity; I believe that the What About The Boys movement is a move we have been waiting for.
Instead of sloganeering and ticking the boxes with speeches, let's rally behind this action-orientated movement. Let’s do away with the endless knee-jerk reactions that we give every time a girl or woman is raped or killed by their partner (a man).
In conclusion, let me also borrow words from the social reformer, writer, and statesman, Frederick Douglass when he said, “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.”
Let’s build a society that cares equally about both boys and girls.
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