With Women’s Month behind us, it is important that the fight against gender-based violence is intensified to ensure that it is not rendered a seasonal ritual.
The scourge of GBV has claimed the lives of many women in our country and prompted President Cyril Ramaphosa to promise to amend the criminal justice system and particularly the sanctions imposed on men who abuse women.
The pertinent question is whether such an approach will bear fruit and end the scourge? Will the scale of punishment meted out against perpetrators of GBV serve as a deterrent to potential abusers?
To reduce the challenge of GBV to criminality is to deny its intricate nature and can only serve to thwart efforts towards its eradication. There is a need to analyse the issue to avoid not seeing the wood for the trees.
GBV is rooted in toxic patriarchy and masculinity, which result in the distortion of gender roles and relations. Toxic masculinity is characterised by dominance, homophobia, compulsory heterosexuality and misogyny.
Cultural practices such as initiation schools fuel this misogynistic fire as boys return with twisted notions of hegemonic masculinity, which promote the minimisation of women and the exaltation of the Alpha male.
The socialisation of children, including boys, is and should be the primary responsibility of the parents. School and the church play a supplementary role. American writer and orator Frederick Douglas attested to this role when he argued that “it is easier to raise good children than it is to repair broken men”.
Phrases such as “boys will be boys” are harmful excuses and cover ups for the traits associated with misogyny and sexism that confront South African society. According to Dr Finn Mckay, who is a senior lecturer of sociology at the University of the West of England, “there is no biological reason boys should like cars, but there is a biological reason for boys to cry, it is called human expression and development”. She argues that our children are human beings with equal capacity for loving and caring and equal need for loving and caring.
It is not healthy to teach boys that they are naturally violent or that they are not wired for compassion and that they always have to be in the lead and be seen to be on top at every cost. It is the nature of toxic masculinity to seek to decrease the worth of women.
In the classroom, toxic masculinity can be tackled by encouraging positive language and challenging of stereotypical language such as “throwing like a girl”, acting like a sissy”, which all reinforce compulsory heterosexuality.
The compartmentalisation of boys and girls into different sporting codes can sometimes reinforce gender stereotypes. Sports such as dance and gymnastics are considered feminine while contact sports such as rugby and football are considered male sports. Gender should not prevent participation and success.
With contact sports, it is important to highlight the value of teamwork, collaboration and communication, which can temper machismo and encourage positive masculinity. Equal allocation of funding for male and female sporting competitions will allow for equitable recognition of talent and encourage overall participation.
There needs to be more focus on values in health and physical education lessons, which will allow pupils to practice key life skills and encourage the development of positive characteristics such as empathy, compassion, care and respect.
These will counter the aspects of toxic masculinity such as toughness and apathy. Teachers must strike a balance between masculinity and femininity by removing the weak/strong dichotomy. Schools should provide safe spaces where both boys and girls can express their personalities and develop their potential.
There should be places where boys are taught that it is human to express emotions and not a sign of weakness. They should learn that boys will not always be boys but boys will one day be fathers, husbands, partners, lovers and colleagues.
To end the scourge of GBV, there should be a corresponding end to toxic masculinity where boys are taught that aggression, the suppression of emotions, isolation and shame are not inevitable but can be unlearned and that women are fellow humans who deserve love and respect.
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