Just over a week ago, Bokgabo Poo of Wattville in Ekurhuleni went missing. The abduction of the four-year-old child was all over the news due to the story going viral on social media. Everyone was sharing smiling photos of the beautiful little girl, doing the best they could to help her family locate her.
But just a few days later, her mutilated body would be found – some of it in an open veld. Other parts of Bokgabo’s body were found by an old woman who was sweeping her yard, who found toes and later a leg buried in a shallow grave. The child had been viciously raped before being brutally murdered.
On Monday, 31-year-old Ntokozo Zikhali appeared in the Benoni magistrate's court charged with the rape and murder. During the proceedings, Bokgabo’s father, who had been conducting media interviews since his daughter’s disappearance, desperately trying to find her, jumped from his seat to grab the suspect. The father’s raw emotions have been captured on a video that is doing the rounds – a video that will bring tears to anyone who sees it.
No parent should have to go through what that man is going through. That kind of pain is something to which no one should be condemned. And yet, Bokgabo’s story is not unique. This year alone, numerous children across the country have been found raped and mutilated. According to Unicef, at least three children are killed each day in SA.
In a normal society, when you see a pregnant woman, it brings a smile to your face knowing that a new life is being created. But in our country, when you see a pregnant woman, you are overcome with crippling anxiety knowing that the odds of the child having a peaceful childhood are stacked against them. According to statistics from the South African Police Service, released earlier this year, between October and December 2021, the lives of 352 children were violently cut short.
But these statistics do not tell the full story. Another 394 children survived attempted murder, while over 2,000 were victims of physical assault. And of the 150 rapes reported daily during the same period, a significant number were of children.
Being in our late 20s and early 30s, nearly all my friends have children. In fact, in my close circles, I am the only one who does not have a child. Most of them are new mothers, with their babies having been born within the last two years. My reaction when all of them shared their news of pregnancy was short-lived excitement that was immediately overshadowed by anxiety.
This past weekend, as the country was awaiting DNA results from the mutilated body that would later be confirmed as that of baby Bokgabo, I visited my friend Nonkululeko Sefolo, who recently gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. As I watched her play with baby Ditshego, I was crippled by fear. I shared this with her and she confessed to me how she too is constantly afraid of the society in which her child is growing up. I have heard similar things from my other friends.
The thought of raising a child in SA that is so violent, where almost everyone has experienced or knows someone who has experienced some kind of violence, is gut-wrenching. I cannot imagine what it’s like to watch your child play around the yard and be plagued by thoughts of whether they will see their 5th birthday and whether if they do, they will not have been raped. It is a debilitating existence to which millions are condemned.
This is not life!
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