KABELO CHABALALA | SA football ban for deadbeat dads ... could it happen?

Do South African men love football more than they love their own children? More than they love their wives and partners?

It is an uncomfortable question, but one worth asking. I found myself thinking about it after reading reports that Argentine authorities identified fathers who had failed to meet their parental obligations, then worked with World Cup officials to ensure that they would not be allowed into stadiums.

What fascinated me was not necessarily the punishment itself, but the principle behind it. Here was a country making a clear statement that fatherhood comes with responsibilities and that those responsibilities cannot simply be ignored while one enjoys the privileges of life, including attending one of the world’s biggest sporting events.

What makes this even more compelling is that Argentina is reportedly dealing with fatherlessness levels of between 11% and 12%. South Africa, by comparison, is facing a crisis of an entirely different size. Numerous studies over the years have consistently shown that more than 67% of South African children, particularly black children, are growing up without their fathers in the home.

If a country dealing with a fatherlessness rate of about 11% can use football as a mechanism to encourage accountability among fathers, what excuse do we have? Why are we not having a national conversation about innovative ways to enforce responsibility among men who have chosen to neglect their children?

The truth is that fatherlessness has become so common in South Africa that many of us have accepted it as normal. We speak about unemployment, crime, gender-based violence, poverty, poor educational outcomes and weak leadership, often treating them as separate challenges.

Yet we seldom stop to ask whether the breakdown of the family structure and the absence of fathers are contributing factors to many of these societal problems.

We have become so accustomed to absent fathers that we no longer speak about the issue with the urgency it deserves. In fact, many South Africans have become so hopeless about fatherlessness that they no longer believe meaningful intervention is possible.

This is where the football question becomes important. Football is undoubtedly the most loved sport in South Africa. Every weekend, thousands of men travel across cities and provinces to support their favourite clubs.

They buy tickets, pay for transport, purchase food and drinks, and spend money on merchandise. Even if a ticket costs only R50 or R70, the reality is that attending a football match often requires several hundred rand when all the associated costs are taken into account.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with supporting football. The question is whether we have become comfortable with a society in which some men can faithfully support a football club while failing to support their own children.

Imagine, for a moment, a Soweto Derby between Kaizer Chiefs and Orlando Pirates at FNB Stadium. Imagine thousands of supporters making their way through the gates to watch one of the biggest sporting spectacles on the African continent.

Now imagine if one of the requirements for entry was proof that you are meeting your maintenance obligations and taking care of your children. Imagine if government departments, maintenance courts and sporting bodies worked together to identify men who have consistently failed to support their children despite having the means to do so.

Imagine if those men were stopped at the gates and denied entry to the stadium. The proposal may sound extreme, but is it really more extreme than allowing millions of children to grow up without support from their fathers?

What interests me is not whether such a policy would be practical tomorrow morning. What interests me is the conversation it forces us to have. Why are the departments of home affairs, social development, justice and sport not collaborating more aggressively on the issue of parental responsibility?

Why do maintenance courts continue to operate in relative isolation when fatherlessness is one of the most significant social challenges facing the country? Why have we become more creative about collecting traffic fines, enforcing tax compliance and managing administrative obligations than we are about ensuring that fathers support their children?

The consequences of fatherlessness extend far beyond individual households. Fatherlessness affects educational outcomes, mental health, poverty levels, crime rates, leadership development and social cohesion. Every child who grows up feeling abandoned carries that experience into adulthood in one form or another.

Every mother or grandmother who is forced to carry the burden alone does so at a personal and financial cost. Every community dealing with the effects of absent fathers ultimately pays the price. This is why fatherlessness should not be viewed as a private family matter. It is a national development issue, and it deserves to be treated as such.

The story from Argentina is ultimately not about football. It is about priorities. It is about a society deciding that fatherhood matters enough to attach consequences to neglect. South Africa must ask itself whether it is willing to have the same level of seriousness about the crisis of absent fathers.

Are we prepared to explore every possible intervention to encourage responsibility and accountability among men? Or have we become so hopeless about fatherlessness that we have accepted it as inevitable?

If more than 67% of our children are growing up without their fathers while a country dealing with 11% to 12% is willing to take bold action, the question is not whether something can be done. The question is whether we have the courage to do it. Sadly, we don’t.

• Chabalala is an author and founder of Young Men Movement