Jabulani “Zann” Mathibe, at 44, is finally pursuing his rap career, with his first release raising awareness about navigating his HIV-positive diagnosis.
The father of two from Meadowlands, Soweto, has also been balancing his creative pursuits with his full-time job as a security officer at Pantry by Marble in Rosebank.
On December 6, Mathibe drops his debut EP, Pain and Snakes, featuring the tracks All By Myself, Moya Wam and iStraight Le Ndaba.
Mathibe opens up to Sowetan about how living with HIV does not define him.
When did you fall in love with music?
I’ve always wanted to do music. Even in my 20s, I told myself, “One thing I’m going to do is release an album,” but life happened. I was always writing music. After my mom passed in 1999, when I was 19, I fell apart. I became a heavy drinker, always drinking.
I lost focus and kept postponing my dream. My mother was a big influence on my music.
When did you decide to go all in?
It changed in 2019 when I got very sick. I didn’t even know I was sick. I stayed in the hospital for almost a year. I honestly thought I was dying. In that time, I reflected. At that time, I thought I was being cursed, but I later realised that it was a wake-up call to pursue my dream. I also realised something: we all have two lives.
The life you have now and when you realise you have one life to live.
Take us through your down period.
After going through heavy heartbreak, I reacted badly. I started sleeping around, drinking a lot and not looking after myself. I didn’t trust anyone. It was my way of reacting to the hurt and pain I was feeling, which is ultimately how I got infected.
We all have two lives. The life you have now, and when you realise you have one life to live.
— Jabulani “Zann” Mathibe, rapper.
Why the name Pain & Snakes for your EP?
“Pain” comes from everything I’ve lived through – losing my mom, heartbreak, and judgement. “Snakes” is about people who turned their backs on me. Since finding out, people would mock and call me names. I even had family members gossiping about me.
The stigma was and is still deep. So, I took all of that and made it the EP name.
What was the process of making this music?
I wrote most of my songs in the hospital. It was the loneliest time. I lost everything; I was always alone. There was a point where I took medication without food when I got discharged. I didn’t even have money for transport. That moment became [the song] All By Myself.
It’s about loneliness, judgement, stigma, my journey with my baby mama… everything.
How is your mental health now?
It’s a process, but it’s better now. Music is therapy. Talking helps too. That’s why next year I want to speak at schools. My situation is not all about HIV… it’s about mental health, anger issues, GBV, early testing and conversations the youth should be having.
What’s life like working as a security officer at Pantry by Marble?
We look after customers, help with parking… make sure they are safe while they eat. It’s a busy restaurant environment. That’s my full-time job, but music is my passion.
Who is your dream collaborator?
I imagine someone like Kwesta on my song. I love his sound and lyrical content. Of course, Maggz and Maglera Doe Boy.
