For Simphiwe Dana, grief has been both a shadow and a guide. The surprise release of her new album, Moya, on her birthday on Friday, is an ode to her late mother.
The 46-year-old singer reflects on how confronting pain shaped this deeply intimate project.
What was the creative process behind Moya?
I grew up free in the village. The whole space was our playground. We were self-sufficient; we grew our own crops, and we had our own animals. We had everything; we had fruit trees, we even had a mini vineyard, and we’d go to the forest to gather wood. We’d also go to the river to fetch water. The only time we’d go to the shops was for sugar. Not having shoes wasn’t a measure of success or anything like that. So I grew up extremely free.
And as I moved away from the rurals, I started experiencing discrimination, and I felt I needed to be less of myself. So throughout life, something keeps bringing me back to that freedom that I felt then. What it means and what freedom looks like. And if I do not feel the way that I was feeling when I was growing up, I know that something is wrong.
How did you reconnect with that freedom?
I was going through a process. There was grief and then probably a midlife crisis [laughs]. I realised I was going through a midlife crisis, but I didn’t even know it. It was only when someone said, “Friend, I think you’re going through a midlife crisis,” and it actually made sense.
I believe I’ve seen it all, and this is where people either find a new reason to continue with their purpose or kill themselves due to depression because everything is too much and they’ve given up on the insight. I also had an epiphany that all of the stuff that I’m carrying has been growing over the years; that’s when I knew I had to let go of that anger…the burden of pain. I wanted to be free.
How did singing these songs transform you?
Anything that brings me closer to God brings me closer to myself. I was reminded of who I am. Something that I’ve always known as a child. I mean, what 12-year-old is preaching at school to other kids?
I knew I had to let go of that anger…the burden of pain. I wanted to be free.
— Simphiwe Dana
How did the loss of your mother affect the project?
She was my everything. Since I’m not good at expressing emotion, and being the firstborn at home, everything fell on me to be strong and to keep everyone together. I felt like I was going to explode, but I knew it was time for that healing. My mother was a churchgoing woman, and so, this album leans more on spiritual types of songs, to give her the best send-off and to finally release her.
Was being alone a form of freedom for you while making this album?
It was not loneliness. It was aloneness. I love being by myself, and when you find that feeling, you never feel lonely. I’m a person who has many friends who love me. I literally can pick up the phone and ask a friend, “Where are you? I’m coming.” However, with this album I preferred being alone with my thoughts so that I could listen to my inner emotions.
