Candice (née Modiselle) and Sechaba Sello are testament to the fact that delayed love can be sacred.
THE MEETING
Candice: Firstly — we listen, we don’t judge. It’s been an ongoing joke that I’m the only one who remembers the first time we met. On the lawns of our university campus, I recall a timid Sechaba casually approaching me, enquiring about my course and if I had any advice for his younger sister (presumably my age), since we shared the same career interests.
Although this encounter wasn’t love at first sight, what followed were friendly exchanges, the crossing of paths, and a romance that was sparked by the same sister, 10 years later.
Sechaba: We often crossed paths, after years, I became more intrigued by Tumelo, whom I was about to be reintroduced to as Candice, with whom the world was already familiar. My first real impression of Tumi was on our first date, when I got to experience her humour, charm, wit, intelligence, values, and mannerisms firsthand.
THE DATING LIFE
Sechaba: It was fun and filled with a lot of growth, reflection, and healing. Our love developed rapidly, and so did our friendship. It was exciting and adventurous — it still feels like we’re dating.
THE LIGHTBULB MOMENT
Candice: One thing about this man, he’s intentionality personified. One fateful evening after a day on set, we decided to grab a late bite. At this point, we couldn’t go on longer than two days without seeing each other, even if for a brief coffee date. That particular night, however, he sat me down, expressed his unfiltered intentions, and asked me a series of questions about “our” future together.
We’d only been dating for a few weeks, and in that moment, I forever felt near. I realised, ‘This man does not play about me. He means business.’ Fast forward three years, and every promise has been kept, and expectations exceeded.
THE PROPOSAL
Candice: I was told, “It’s just lunch with family” to celebrate his mother’s birthday early. A wholesome Sunday after church (strategically, in matching outfits), we made our way to a gorgeous destination. Upon arrival, the staff walked us to the garden. I was still under the impression it was a birthday lunch. Only when I saw a friend of ours clicking away on his camera as we walked towards the massive “Marry Me” sign did it dawn on me.
On bended knee, he asked the big question; I jumped, shouted, ran in circles, and the moment “Yes” left my lips, our family ran out from behind the shrubbery, ululating and singing.
Sechaba: I wanted something simple, authentic, and beautiful. Tumi once told me that she’d never be caught off-guard or surprised, so planning this without her knowledge was a challenge. I was determined to do so after receiving her mom’s blessing and assuring her that I’d immediately commence with lobola.
LOBOLA
Sechaba: This was one of the most crucial steps because it’s so important to show up as a unit. After I presented my intentions and plans, my aunts and uncles helped me draft a letter in Setswana to hand over to the Modiselle family. They accepted, and a date was set. A few weeks later, my delegation arrived at her gate, and the day began.
I waited outside, anxious but confident. My uncle eventually called me to say how well everything went, and I was invited inside to officially greet and celebrate.
THE WEDDING
Candice: The six-week pre-marital counselling course, through our church, was a priority when lobola negotiations were concluded. As we progressed, it became apparent that we needed more time to pray and reflect on the shared material. We consulted with our pastor and marriage mentors, who were so supportive of our decision.
This resulted in us pushing out the initial wedding date by a week.
Sechaba: In honour of our parents, the traditional ceremony was in Soweto, and our blessing ceremony (signing) was an intimate lunch.
THE DRESS
Candice: Three incredible women contributed to all of my garments. There was Tamia Nontsikelelo, the phenomenal founder of Tol Thema (@tol_thema) and my good friend. Emerging designer Jolie Graca (@sewingwithjesusandjo) created my Shweshwe dress, and Lucia (@drluluudesigns) brilliantly crafted my official wedding dress.
Lucia, an engineer by profession, reached out to me over email after we’d announced our engagement. Over months of calls, meetings, and fittings, I expressed my vision and she skilfully elevated it. The final 2-in-1 dress still has me speechless.
TOP TIPS FOR THE BRIDE
Candice: The wedding is a moment (not one to be trivialised, of course), but the marriage is a lifetime — prioritise accordingly. I cannot express enough how critical pre-marital counselling is. It helps remove the rose-tinted glasses. Surrounding yourselves with people who will encourage and pray for you helps build a strong foundation.
Pray, pray, and pray some more: a marriage submitted to God is one kept and carried by Him. Lastly, free yourself from the unnecessary pressure of “Abantu bazothini [what will people say].”
TOP TIPS FOR THE GROOM
Sechaba: [In addition to what Candice said about pre-marital counselling], consult with peers/elders who are married or have marriage experience to understand roles, dynamics, and best practices. I’m so grateful that two of my close friends recently got married and gave me sound advice on how to approach lobola in our modern age.
Be present, patient, and positive. And never get your hair cut on game day — haircuts peak after at least 24 hours.
