If you’re reading this, please I implore you: do not wait for your life to turn to dust before you seek spiritual help, please!
I say dust but really what I mean is the commonly used “S” word to describe fecal matter. Hint, it rhymes with fit and Schmit.
Do not ever be desperate for spiritual help. Ever!
I know you might be thinking: “What kind of useless and unhelpful statement is this? The implication of my statement is that people manufacture their own spiritual distress, right?
Well, yes, to some extent we do contribute to our own spiritual distress, which when prolonged turns into the ugly monster that is desperation.
How do we do this? We cease to follow instructions and messages from our ancestors, which come in the form of dreams, visions and sometimes even voices in our heads.
Now, I’ve come to learn that the cessation to follow instruction isn’t always deliberate. Often we don’t have the tools or presence of mind to recognise that we are being communicated with, let alone to know the contents of the communique.
Think about desperation for a second, especially being caught up in it. It renders you vulnerable not only to other people but to yourself.
When your point of origin is desperation you are not able to discern your limits. Limits become abstract until the “limit does not exist” (the Cady Heron Mean Girls voice).
Suddenly there is nothing you won’t do, say or be to escape the position you are in, not knowing that acting from desperation alone will drive you deeper into desperation.
The relationship between desperation and the longing for spiritual assistance is quite fascinating. It is my experience that people visit izangoma as a last resort.
I too also exhausted all other options before seeking traditional help. I was desperate for answers. Fortunately for me I fell into safe(ish) hands. Retrospectively, I’d give myself a negative three-star rating for my decision-making under desperation.
My experience taught me that the intensity of spiritual distress increases greatly over time and can lead to desperation. And desperation can be life-threatening. That is why I discourage waiting for stress to intensify before seeking spiritual help.
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In thinking about desperation I draw on my relationship with uGogo Khanyi, who when we met was in its grip.
She was a student at Michigan State University in the US, while I was a young initiate living between the Eastern Cape’s Tsolo and Mthatha.
My cousin, Dr Yonela Kentane, introduced me to her by asking me if I did virtual consultations at the time. Fortunately, I was taking all consultations I could in order to sharpen my spiritual eye and practice. I was elated.
On the other hand I wasn’t that excited because I had already had a few dreams about this Gogo - and her situation was looking dire.
Days before she reached out to me the bottom of my feet had started to tingle. I thought this was odd, especially because shoes were no longer a permanent fixture in my life. I concluded that this tingle wasn’t a message directed at me.
The feeling persisted until my consultation with Gogo Khanyi. She then explained that she had lost the use of both of her legs and as soon as she told me that the tingling in my feet made sense.
Gogo Khanyi had been in hospital and had exhausted western medicine as far as she was concerned, so she had contacted me as a last resort.
We worked through her problem together until she was healthy enough to come home and ultimately address the spiritual aspects of her illness. You will note that I said “we worked together”, which means I didn’t perform miracles. I simply taught her how to engage with her guardians to negotiate for her health. We maintained contact as I would periodically check up on her.
Several years later, Gogo contacted me again and she was under some distress. This time it was related to her needing to thwasa (go for initiation) and not knowing where to go for the process. The pressure on her to undergo initiation was getting worse and worse.
Her desperation ultimately led to her falling into the hands of a bogus healer who not only abused her financially but mentally, physically and spiritually as well. She told me a story once of how she and another initiate were made to eat rotten food although they were made to buy fresh groceries while being held captive. It was horrible. She eventually escaped and returned to her family; she is safe.
In our talks, Gogo and I unpacked personal versus divine desperation and the possibility of any convergences. What would this convergence look like and before we even get there how would we discern between a personal versus divine intervention?
How do you know that it is the dlozi (spirits) that is desperate for spiritual help and not just you deeply desiring your agony to be over? And yes, having an active dlozi that requires intwaso (undergoing initiation) is agonising.
My advice for when this happens (the manifestation of spiritual distress ultimately into desperation) is to lean on ukuPhahla (communicating with ancestors) for instructions. Your ancestors will show you, wena zithobe kubo qha (humble yourself before them).
Use your white and yellow candle and be intentional in the questions you ask. Trust in your ability to solicit your own answers from your own people (ancestors). Camagu!
* Gogo Zipho is a feminist researcher and journeying holistic spiritual healer
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