Forever thina!
But is it really, especially when your financial values differ so much that you’re chasing your savings target while your partner is awaiting yet another online delivery?
Maybe they are saving but it’s just not enough and often, their decision to buy stuff unnecessarily comes back to you. You must pick up the pieces and see that you both make it through the rest of the month.
The financial burden is too much but are you having an honest conversation with your partner about money?
Salem Nyati, consumer financial education specialist at Momentum Group Foundation, warns that if you and your partner are not aligned on financial goals and habits, your relationship may struggle to find meaning and stability.
“As we’ve seen time and time again, financial values can make or break a relationship. It’s essential for couples to have open and honest conversations about their financial goals and habits to avoid potential conflicts down the line,” says Nyati.
As we’ve seen time and time again, financial values can make or break a relationship.
— Salem Nyati, consumer financial education specialist at Momentum Group Foundation
“Financial values dictate how individuals save, spend, invest, and approach debt. For instance, one partner may prioritise saving for the future, while the other prefers living in the moment and spending freely.
“Financial values are deeply personal and often reflect our upbringing, experiences and priorities. When couples have differing financial values, it can create tension, mistrust and even resentment.”
RCS deputy CEO Mariné van Brakel says there are tools and resources available to empower couples with ways to navigate their financial journeys.
“Money is often seen as a source of conflict, but it can be a powerful tool to strengthen your relationship when managed together,” she says.
Nyati says alongside infidelity and lack of communication, among other challenges, financial issues rank high as one of the main reasons couples break up or divorce.
“The emotional toll of financial stress can be devastating, making it clear that love alone isn’t enough – money matters too. These differing outlooks can create tension as money often serves as a practical foundation for shared goals like buying a home, travelling or building a family.
“When financial values are misaligned, partners may face arguments, planning difficulties, feelings of imbalance and strain caused by debt or irresponsible financial behaviour. Love no longer lives here when money fights become a constant battle,” says Nyati.
But she says not all is lost as there are steps that can be taken to ensure that you and your partner have aligning financial values.
“Umjolo can be one of life’s greatest joys, but it requires more than love and chemistry to thrive. Aligning financial values with your partner is essential to building a stable relationship.
“By prioritising open communication, mutual respect and shared financial goals, couples can create a strong foundation for their relationship. A relationship isn’t just about surviving the present, it’s about planning a future together,” Nyati says.
Here’s how you can achieve financial success together:
Start “The Money Talk” early
Nyati: Money conversations shouldn’t be delayed until serious commitments like moving in together or planning a wedding. Early in the relationship, discuss your financial habits and priorities.
Van Brakel: It’s not necessarily money, but a lack of transparency in this important area of life that leads to the breakdown of the relationship. Transparency is what builds trust and a lack thereof breaks it.
Go through important financial documents together
Nyati: Review credit reports, bank statements, payslips and other financial documents to get a clear picture of each other’s financial standing. Understanding where you both stand can help you plan better for the future.
Set shared goals
Van Brakel: Whether it’s opening a credit account, taking out a loan or customer protection insurance, financial harmony starts with setting shared objectives. Common interests draw partners together, but common goals are the glue that keeps them together. A great place to start is by creating a budget together.
Respect each other’s priorities
Nyati: While alignment is crucial, it’s equally important to respect each other’s personal financial priorities. One partner may want to save aggressively, while the other values occasional splurges – finding a middle ground is key.
Celebrate milestones to build momentum
Van Brakel: Celebrating small financial victories like meeting a monthly savings target, staying within your budget for the week or even making a debt repayment, will keep you both motivated to keep working towards your major goals.
Be honest about debt and spending
Nyati: Hiding debt or overspending from your partner can breed mistrust. Be open about your financial situation and encourage your partner to do the same.
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